PART II - "The Curious Case..."

I was waiting for my number at the waiting area when the ward boy called out my name. It wasn’t that big a deal as IT WAS JUST AN INGROWING NAIL still. I went in, as the door of room 16 opened. Holy mother cow… to my own fetish amusement, to say the least, the doctor’s eye texture was a replica of ‘the holy’, Rani Mukharjee. Just to clear the arousing doubts, we are talking about a male surgeon. His appearance appeared quite confusing at first sight though… and the neuter expression on his face added further to the travesty. Divine coincidence… his name was Karan.

DOC : (…looking straight at the face of the patient as if asking him why have you come to bother me… saying nothing but continuing with the chewing....) Hmmmmm….

ME : (...startled a bit… regaining composure… getting to the stool…) Doctor, I have an infection on my toe.

DOC : (…examining the toe…) A clear case of ingrowth of nail. We will have to operate it.

ME : (…stupified by the sudden offensive…) OPERATION...!!! uhh… I mean… uhh… isint it supposed to be something else.. I mean… are u absolutely sure… but… why… ITS JUST AN INGROWING NAIL… I mean… I can cut the edges myself… Its just the infection that worries me..

DOC : (…reassuringly… as if it was the patient’s last resort…) Don’t worry its not that big a deal. Its just that if it does’nt get the permanent solution it will go on recurring. We will permanently remove the part of nailbed which is growing sideways rather than straight. Once it is operated you wont get it again. Else if you would go for temporary thing, it might help you now, but later on, the infection might spread.(…ends with a wide grin which appears draconian to the patient…).

So it was’nt JUST an ingrowing nail, it was AN INGROWING NAIL. I had no choice, but to succumb to the need of the hour… THE OPERATION.

The doctor scribbled something quickly on his notepad and passed the parchment to the the wardboy awaiting for the instructions. “Take him to emergency…”, Dr. Karan ordered. So now… I, who once barged through the hospital premises and conquered the front-desk, that too single-handedly, was getting carried to the emergency on a wheelchair. I was as petrified as an austere monk riding a racer bike. I called my brother in the meantime, and he was quickly there.. looked a little worried now. Afterall, IT WAS AN INGROWING NAIL.

I was set on drips, which I found quite unwarranted in the beginnin. I even expressed my vociferous acrimony regarding the same. But later on, I was convinced that it was for my own good. “You are not allowed to take food before getting local anesthesia…”, was their fundamental argument. Maybe I was getting a little too paranoid about things. In this while, a few more of my cousins arrived at the scene for my rescue. The almost evacuared ‘emergency’, now looked more of a venue for family reunion. Almost everyone, who came to visit me, was getting more confused than worried. “Abhi to tu theek se chal fir raha tha, fir ye itni jaldi kya hua…??”, their mocking faces added to my agony. My explainstion to everyone was, “Its complicated and I have to be operated, ITS AN INGROWING NAIL you see and I am not kidding…”. I couldn’t wait any longer for things to get over as I begun to loose my rationality. I was as petrified as a 15 year old boy caught watching bikini hotties on tv. I was lying down on the bed, waiting for my cup of coffee with Karan, hoping against the odds that its gonna be as simple as that…

THE CURIOUS CASE OF INGROWING NAIL..

”Wake up Rahul…. You have to see a doctor today…” I was still caught in “the great struggle”, to shrug off my dizziness and embrace the bright day, when I heard the most familiar voice of my mother. But today my matris sounded more martinetish… no wonder why. It was almost a month now… I was quite synchronously reminded of that almost everyday… and things weren’t getting better. Before, I could easily deflect all the sternness and accusations, regarding the same, by showing her some bovine attitude. But today, I somehow could not. The problem, which I considered ephemeral was actually turning out to be more a matter of serious concern for my parents at least, if not for me.

It was an ingrowing nail. Doesn’t sound that serious na… :)

In the beginning it wasn’t that serious either. It was just at times when I accidently(not at all carelessly…:)) used to bump my toe against anything, that the reactive cry of pain used to come to existence. Otherwise I was totally fine. But since past few days, things started to deteriorate. Both of my toes got swollen up like a boiled potato with quite frequent seepage of blood and pus. The infection was now more than visible. I knew that any of my laconic argument would have sounded more like garrulous shit now. So finally, it was action time…

I got up, got through with the daily business, finished my breakfast and finally got ready for “the cause”. I was as neutral as an austere monk is for racer bikes. Even my brother asked me, more of formality than concern though, if I wanted some company. After all IT WAS JUST AN INGROWING NAIL. I humbly agreed to that. So..I, my brother and a cousin of ours were on our way to the hospital. He dropped me at the main entrance and again asked if I needed company. I humbly refused as IT WAS JUST AN INGROWING NAIL. So they moved on as they had some unfinished business at the bank. I was as neutral as a 5 year old boy is towards bikini hotties...:) having no clue what was waiting inside for me.

It was a newly built facility… highly reputed though. The exteriors looked no second to any hi-fi hospital of some metropolitan. I entered the building… silently… observing things around me. Apart from a few freaky ward-boys and nurses, everything seemed to be quite tranquil. I quickly paced my way towards the cute looking female at the reception counter. “How may I help you sir…” she smiled at me. I asked for the doctor who was a specialist of ingrowing nails. It was quite inconveniently awkward to confront a cute young woman, who actually is smiling at you, with something as stupid sounding as that. Even she felt the same. I could make that out from the sudden change of activity of her facile muscles. “You should see the surgeon sir…”, and now the activity on my face changed. I was caught in no man’s land, wondering what should I do, but I finally took her side as I sensibly assumed that her knowledge about such cases must be more than mine. “OPD, room no 16, sir…” she handed me a blank slip and quite hastily moved her hands in the direction. I smiled at her and watched her getting indulged with the pc on her desk as I moved out from there, wondering what makes these front desk women so busy that they couldn’t even take their eyes off the screen. Or maybe they do orkutting only… :D

“Rahul kaun hai…???”, I obediently raised my hand and a questioning eyebrow from the waiting area when the wardboy coming out from room 16 said that. “Agla no tumhara hai…” he further added. I quickly nodded in affirmation to that. I still was as neutral as an amnesia patient is towards old schoolmates… Afterall IT WAS JUST AN INGROWING NAIL. But I had no clue whatsoever about what was coming my way…